I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
