Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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