so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
