never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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