You're my little dorito
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
