Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
