Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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