Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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