You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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