You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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