I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
