I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
