I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
