i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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