SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
