I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
