He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
