went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
