Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize