and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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