im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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