she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
