A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
