Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
