Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
