Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
