Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
