if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
