I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
