she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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