just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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