Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
