butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
