oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i dont even know how to be here
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
