If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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