Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
