I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
