An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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