shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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