I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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