Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
