Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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