wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
