My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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