Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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