We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
