i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
