The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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