I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
