so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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