I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
