one might say we're banned from that church
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize