And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
