My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
