Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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