Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
