yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
