last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
