you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
