this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
