there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
