garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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