Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
