No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
