You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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