I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well I just put wine in my tea
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
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