Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
MIDGETS
????
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
