I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
