Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
