Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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