Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You're a waste of cheezeits
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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