the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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