Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
