my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
